Home   |   Walt's Archives   |   Quotes  |   General     |   Links   |   Resume

[ Back to Short Stories Index ]

CHARACTERS:

• Harold
• Pete
• Tommy
• Owner
• Jay
• Lisa

SCENE:

Opens on a small one-room comic "shop". Table down the middle for new comics, racks of recent comics to one side, a table/desk/counter with a register on the other side, a bookcase of paperbacks and hardbacks to the back, along with another table with comic "longboxes" covering it, and stacked along the floor underneath. "Comic-themed" posters (particularly featuring Spider-Man, X-Men, Superman, Batman, Hulk, Daredevil, and other "mainstream" characters, as well as various others) are hanging on the "walls" and on the front of the counter. The OWNER of the store (Think "Comic Book Guy" from THE SIMPSONS, only cleaner, thinner, and friendlier) sits behind the counter. Three friends-Tommy, Harold, and Pete walk into the store and begin browsing.

HAROLD:

(walking to the bookshelf, peering intently at the spines of the paperbacks, talking over his shoulder) Hey, Guys…which volume was it that had Luthor elected president?

     TOMMY:

(walking to the "recent comics" racks) I dunno, Hare… (sarcastically) Maybe it's "President Lex"? (muttering to himself) geesh…can't believe I actually even KNOW that…

While Harold and Tommy look at their respective sections, PETE has been walking along the "New Stuff" table, and has a stack of about a dozen new comics.

TOMMY:

Hey, Hare…you see any "Meridian" or "Scion" trades? (holding several comics, turns and walks to stand next to HAROLD) Not sure if the sixth volumes came out for either of those…

HAROLD:

(frustration sounding through) Dammit! (pulls three volumes off the shelf) "President Lex," "The Trial of Superman," and "Day of Doom." Figures…I'm only here looking for one, and NOW someone has all three… (pulls out wallet, thumbs through it) Crud. Well, looks like I'm not eating dinner tonight…

PETE:

(stepping up to the counter, reaching for his own wallet, talking over his shoulder) Hare, what exactly ARE we gonna do with you? Comics over food? (the humor creeps into his voice) We have taught you well, my friend!

OWNER:

(flipping through Pete's stack of comics) Ehh…"Conan" is on the house…these others…that'll be $34.76 today. Can I interest you in a Superman statuette? (slips the comics into a plastic shopping bag) Only $40 bucks today.

PETE:

Nahh…you know me. No room to display the things. I'm not rich enough to buy those, anyway (trails off, then grins) I'll pay ya back by 2008 if you'll give it to me on credit today… (he hands two $20s over as payment).

OWNER:

(smiling back, the routine familiar) Nope, no-can-do…This one's sale buys Janie a new video game… (hands back a $5 and some coins)

Harold and Tommy walk up to the counter, Harold loses one of his books, picks it up quickly from the floor.

OWNER:

(Sternly) 'Ey! You break it, you bought it! Can't have hoodlums like you damaging the merchandise! (holding his hand out to accept the books from Harold, chuckling-he's just giving the kid a hard time) See? You drop the books on the floor, and they pick up dust and other crap, and you get it on your fingers when you try to read the things!

HAROLD:

(Digging for his wallet) Well, I was already planning on buying it…

OWNER:

Forty-four eighteen. (Slipping the books into a bag) Catching up on your Superman stuff? Where were you when they killed 'im?

HAROLD:

(handing over several bills) Probably in school. I was…what? Five or Six back then…

OWNER:

That's a real shame…you kids don't have the appreciation of being a part of that event in pop-culture. Seemed like everyone old enough to read bought that issue, and usually in multiples…

TOMMY:

(Thrusting his comics toward the register) Not all of us get to be Old Farts like you, though…

OWNER:

Well, this 'old fart' has experienced and learned a lot in his day. (tallies up Tommy's purchase) That'll be Eighteen-Seventy-Seven. You check out the new Punisher series? You might enjoy it-new status quo, bit more realistic…

TOMMY:

Nah, I'll wait for the trade. Cheaper that way. (Turns to Pete) Hey, spot me a couple? I've got $17 and some pennies at the moment…

OWNER:

(shaking his head in amusement) You kids. Just like this country…eyes bigger than the wallet. 'Least you kids look out for each other, right?

(Pete pulls out his $5, hands it to the OWNER, while Tommy, looking sheepish, grumbles a thank-you)

OWNER:

Here ya go… (hands change over to Pete, comics to Tommy) Whatever happened to that other kid used to come in here with you? What was his name…James, Jake…Jay. Tall lanky kid, used to buy all the Spider-Man stuff I had?

PETE:

Jay? He went off to college. Big stuff, I suppose. Well, we need to get going. Well see ya next time!

(They leave the shop. Cut lights.)

SCENE:

Stereotypical college dorm room. Bunked beds, a mini-fridge with a TV in the corner, posters on the wall-Many featuring comic/sci-fi characters, while others are noticeably less-"tasteful". Couple desks, chairs, and such. [quieter-non-partier living with a partier]. As lights come on, JAY laying sprawled on the floor, staring at the ceiling, while LISA sits in a chair, facing JAY's direction.

LISA:

You know, you're not going to be able to lay there forever. Someone's going to find you and take you out with the rest of this-- (she waves a hand toward the trash-buildup on the other side of the room) --trash. Assuming it ever gets taken out… (she wrinkles her nose in disgust) I don't know how you-

JAY:

It's Darren's mess, and I live with it because I have to. I'll lay here as long as I need to to decide what to do.

LISA:

Well, I already told you what I think…

JAY:

Yeah, take this hobby and make it a career focus. But how am I supposed to do that? I came here to study computers. That's where the money is-technology! That's what my parents sent me here for. But I failed two classes, and I'm failing a third. And frankly, I don't give a damn-this isn't me!

LISA:

So don't do it! That's what I'm trying to tell you! You love these things, you know more about them than anyone I know, and you're always doing so much with them! They're such a big part of your life…you're always spending so much money, why not let them work for you for a change?

JAY:

How am I supposed to do that, though? The closest thing this school has to anything like that is English, and I'd have to fight to maintain a "graphic fiction" focus. But the major forces us into other--

LISA:

Dammit, Jay, why do you do this to yourself? (Stands up and paces) I don't think you even listen to me half the time! UGH! (grabs a pillow off the top bunk to throw.)

JAY:

(pretending to not be listening) Hmm? What's that? Sounded like-OOMPH!

LISA:

(plopping down on a pillow on Jay's chest) I'm going to sit here until we figure this one out.

JAY:

Fine by--

LISA:

Don't. I'm serious, Jay! You have to schedule in a few hours, if you're going to get outta your major, you need to figure this out TWO WEEKS AGO!

JAY:

(joking still) Actually, three hours…

LISA:

(very frustrated) JAY! Enough! Ok? Just look at yourself, look at what you're always doing with what you read! First off, you actually LIKE to read, which I can understand, except you read ALL THE TIME…but you're always learning from what you read, and making it a part of your life, and using it to influence others around you! You can do so much with that-

JAY:

(letting the humor drop, trying to cooperate) What am I supposed to do? Take up journalism or writing? I'm not a WRITER! I read stuff! I talk about it! I don't write stuff…

LISA:

Well, I've learned a lot from you. You have a lot to talk about, that you say you've learned from reading. Even these comics! You've helped me with MY homework because of these things…if you can do that, why can't you make it your own academic focus or something?

JAY:

(shaking his head) I've been reading comics since I was a kid. Maybe five years old. Found Grandpa's old Mickey Mouse comics, and others I didn't know at the time. Until you've been bringing this up, I never even thought about these being anything "academic"….they're stuff for kids.

LISA:

How about when I was trying to write about the importance of the law over vigilanteism? Your comics provided a convincing argument, and I changed my paper around, and got an A-plus for arguing FOR vigilantes!

JAY:

Batman? Sure. The law may provide a structure, but sometimes things slip through the cracks. Someone's gotta clean that up and see justice done. Especially with Justice being blind to everything, good and bad alike…

LISA:

And you're always finding inspiration in comics for real-life stuff. You have all these sticky-notes around with comments, and they give good advice. When you haven't known anything to tell me, you seem to have one of these waiting in the background to help me! You taught me to try to fly instead of just fall…

JAY:

Ok, ok….let's say I DO get to take some classes where I can write ABOUT comics instead of WRITING them. What then? There's so much that's already been said…

LISA:

...Then do RESEARCH! You know what Bill is always telling us! There's always something new, that even the experts don't get or publish. You can read what's already out there and bring your own experiences to it and give new insights! And you're such a good writer without even trying, if you take classes to focus it, you could get "published" easily, and reach a lot of people!

JAY:

(sighs, sits up, hugging Lisa) You're never going to let me win, are you?

LISA:

(warming to the hug) Nope! (playfully) I win! I always win…

(the phone rings, both look at it as it rings again. Lisa leaps up to answer it before Jay can react.)

LISA:

Gooooood evening! This is Jay's room, Girlfriend Lisa speaking, How may I help you? (pause, she smiles at Jay) Sure, Pete…he's right here. He's got something to tell you, too! (she hands the phone to Jay)

JAY:

Hey Pete…yeah, uh-huh…cool. Didn't think he'd remember me…barely talked to….really? Hmph. Well, you know Hare. Seriously? We should give him CASH for Christmas. We know he can use it….Ok. Well, yeah. (winking at Lisa) She's been here beating the shi-- (Lisa smacks his shoulder) I mean, she's here helping me figure out what classes I'm going to take next year. I'm dropping…yeah, it's that time again already. I'm probably not going to stay with computers…I'd love the money, but I'm going to be put into an asylum if I don't get….PETE! You're gonna love this. (pauses for dramatic effect) All these comics I've got and keep buying? Well, they're probably going to be homework. Lisa thinks I can…yeah. Honest. These…Pete, I'll see you guys this weekend, ok? We'll talk then. Lisa's saying it's….'bye, Pete. (sighs heavily as he hangs up the phone)

LISA:

What's up?

JAY:

Not much. He thinks I'm joking, of course. Ah well. I still need to figure some of this out, and figure out how I'm going to tell my parents…

LISA:

Well, since you just used me as an excuse to get off the phone, let's go--you're taking me to dinner…

(Lights fade to darkness).